The good news is that effective couples’ therapy can help two people to actually accept–or even embrace–uncertainty and change. A couples’ therapist understands crisis as a potential opportunity for positive growth. 

I work with couples who are experiencing significant conflict, infidelity, or the feeling that they are not “heard,”  loved, acknowledged or appreciated. Some other specific issues I work with include co-parenting, borderline and narcissistic personality disorders, addiction/recovery, step-parenting, family of origin conflicts and conflicts arising from non-traditional or cross-cultural family life.

 Communication

When couples first come in my office, I observe the pattern of their communication as the most important element of their relationship. I Help couples to improve their skills of active listening and to identify “cycles” of their communication. I help couples re-calibrate meaningful roles, to work on problems of anger, silence and issues with emotional regulation. Couples learn to practice mindful communication and to improve verbal and non-verbal communication. Together, we attempt to have the couple achieve more acceptance, trust, respect, love and  friendship.

 Affairs

Nothing threatens a marriage or long-term relationship as strongly as an affair. Affairs can make the world seem like a very unsafe and unpredictable place for the non-offending spouse or partner. Affairs create complex situations in marriage and family life which also often generate significant emotional trauma. When infidelity also involves the welfare of children, a more complex family circumstance is created for both conflicted parents. Yet affairs appear to happen more frequently than we would hope, or expect. 

The first step is professional help with a skilled therapist. Offending and non-offending spouses need firm, supportive therapy to help them with a very wide range of intense thoughts, emotions, considerations, and behaviors. Often it is necessary to determine the offending spouse’s motivation and/or capacity to take full responsibility for full disclosure of offending behaviors, or a movement towards full separation or moving on from the marriage if this is the couple’s decision.